Youth learn conflict resolution skills at What Happens Upstream conference

“I talked today about polarized ideology, and what’s really important for me in coming to talk about it is that hostility can be used as a recruitment tool and we are starting to see this wave of hate that is happening,” Mills explained

“I’m really concerned about how our youth are equipped to deal with those tough conversations and to be able to show up fully as themselves, but to also at the same time give themselves permission to be able to remove themselves from conversations that are not safe, and to really tap into the connections that are important to them that keep them well and safe and nourished. That’s where we want our kids to be, but we can’t ignore the fact there is this thing that is happening.”

Another key point highlighted in Mills’ presentation was that outrage had become normalized and had begun to “subtly and discreetly influence people’s perspectives,” which she said was an important thing to recognize.

“Is that really your belief or is that something that is being given to you, fed to you? Have you been manipulated?” Mills stated.

“Having a deeper understanding and educating yourself is really important so you don’t fall victim to that kind of hostility as a recruitment tool for hate.”

Mills added an associated skill in that topic is identifying the need beneath the point of view, and finding healthy ways to address or resolve those feelings.

She also pointed out that “you don’t see people who are busy building actively engaged in argument and conflict,” and used that message to encourage the youth to look beyond the fight and instead work to improve themselves and their communities.

Verlynn Mariano, Project Coordinator for the OKIB Public Safety Department, added that the goal of the conference was for the youth to take this knowledge and other skills with them into the future.

“It’s important for them to have these skills and to learn that we can be in conflict and we can disagree, but we can also still take care of each other at the same time.”

The conference has been held for the past three years, and Naaz Kaur Grewal-Greeno, Executive Director of the Social Planning Council for the North Okanagan, said that showed the local youth were serious about being leaders in their communities and interested in the topics being discussed, specifically pointing to how many youth were actively moving away from social media and choosing to gather together in person.

Along with the presentations there were workshops where participants learned skills to navigate through conflict, and organizers said that would be expanded even further after hearing that youth want to be actively engaged and have more hands-on-learning opportunities related to the topic.

Akasha Eustache of the Youth Leadership Council said the conference provided her with an opportunity to reflect on the topic.

“What I’ve definitely learned about conflict over the last few years is that it’s okay to be in conflict and it doesn’t mean you’re in trouble or the other person is in trouble,” Eustache explained.

“[I’ve also learned] how to handle it properly and to self-regulate whenever I’m in conflict.”

Eustache and the other Youth Leadership Council members said they were pleased to see the participants being involved this year and were very excited to see how the conference has expanded since starting in 2024.

The conference brought together around 250 youth to learn these skills, and while that was fewer participants than in the previous year the event’s reach was wider.

“We have an increase in Indigenous student participation, and as well as from our neighbouring First Nations and Bands,” Mariano said.

“We have people coming from Takla, Vancouver, shíshálh, OKIB, Upper Nicola, Adams Lake, Salmon Arm. So we’ve got quite a few new [people] coming to hang with us.”

The event also saw local groups and service providers set up booths to speak with the youth about programs, supports and opportunities available in the region, and was supported by numerous community partners.

by Liam Verster

Youth learn conflict resolution skills at What Happens Upstream conference

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