Beyond the Politics: Harwinder Sandhu, NDP candidate, North Okanagan-Shuswap riding

Beyond the Politics takes an up-close and personal look at the five North Okanagan-Shuswap candidates running in the federal election, October 21.

The purpose of these stories by respected local journalist Josh Winquist is to present the candidate, not party platforms or policies.

Thank you to all the candidates for participating.

The profiles will be published in alphabetical order with one each day from Oct. 7-11.

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Profile on Mel Arnold, Conservative (Oct.7)

Profile of Kyle Delfing, People’s Party of Canada (Oct. 8)

Profile of Cindy Derkaz, Liberal (Oct. 9)

Profile of Marc Reinarz, Green Party (Oct. 10)

Profile of Harwinder Sandhu, New Democratic Party (Oct.11)

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Smiling politely, Harwinder Sandhu waits quietly in line at Starbucks for her beverage — the ambient sound of busy baristas fills the air.

Pinned to her chest is a button with words that read, Harwinder Sandhu NDP; the orange colour of the button stands out against her blue flowered dress.

Sandhu is running in the upcoming federal election for the NDP in the North Okanagan-Shuswap riding.

It’s not her first time taking up the party’s banner.

In 2017 she ran in the provincial election for MLA in Kelowna-Mission riding, where she finished runner-up.

While waiting for her order, Sandhu is asked to describe herself.

Over the noise, the often soft-spoken 40-year-old says: “I am a mother, a nurse and a woman who overcame many struggles and barriers.”

It is an unobjectionable statement that somehow still feels far too modest given her history.

“I have gone through financial hardship, mental and emotional trauma that could have led me to any path,” she says. “Sometimes I look back while I’m in bed and I ask myself, how did I do it? How did I survive?”

In recent years, Sandhu developed a bit of a reputation for standing up for the little guy, which she says was something born out of her own life’s struggles.

“When you have issues in the community or health care or education and your voice doesn’t get heard, and you’re always banging on the doors of MPs and MLAs asking for support, sometimes you feel like you’re sick and tired of being a little voice,” she says. “That is how it started. People started telling me I should be that voice.”

The conversation pauses when the barista calls out her name. Sandhu grabs her drink and walks outside to the patio.

Born in India, Sandhu is the oldest of three siblings.

Her mother stayed at home and raised the children. Her father was a farmer who placed no limits on them.

He would often tell Sandhu: “There is nothing you can’t do.”

The motto led her to study nursing in India.

In 2001, she moved to Canada and married her first husband — a Canadian man named Sammy.

The couple settled in Terrace where she worked as a nurse; Sammy as a computer engineer.

The two welcomed both their daughters, Manreet and Jasreen, in northern B.C.

For a few short years, life was good for the couple, until Sammy fell ill.

At first, doctors didn’t know what was wrong with him. Despite Sandhu’s attempts to convince doctors to conduct a thorough screening, Sammy went misdiagnosed. Years passed, with no clear answers.

When doctors finally did discover what was wrong, it was too late. He was diagnosed with stage four gallbladder cancer — his cancer had metastasized to his peristomial lining and he was only given a few months to live.

Sandhu admits, her nurse’s mind knew this was bad news, but her wife and mother’s mind was determined to not give up.

“We did whatever we could,” she remembers. “I would be on the computer until 4 a.m. searching for any hope, and he would say ‘go to sleep, you are going to go crazy.'”

Sammy was a fighter, and despite the prognosis, he lived for two more years.

However, the disease would eventually take over.

Sammy died on November 6, 2010.

At the age of 29, Sandhu became a widow and single mother.

Sandhu said her life froze in place after Sammy died.

“It was like somebody shot me in the chest,” she says. “He was the world to me. He was the first guy that I ever loved. It was the hardest thing in my life.”

In the wake of Sammy’s death, Sandhu struggled with depression.

Sammy’s death had been a long, slow, painful process; one that left her struggling mentally, physically and financially.

The young couple had no insurance, She exhausted the banked sick time with her employer and Employment Insurance ran dry.

The coming financial hardship loomed over her like a dark cloud.

“That was hard,” Sandhu recalls. “I thought I was going to lose the roof over our heads.”

She admits the stress caused her to rush back to work too early, mostly out of fear of losing her job.

Just two weeks after Sammy died, Sandhu remembers sitting in her car after a long nursing shift. The night was cold and bitter and she was exhausted.

Nearing a breaking point, raw emotion took over.

Resting her head on the steering wheel, she said she let out a loud and desperate scream — leaving all the pain, anger, hurt, confusion and sadness, right there in the Mills Memorial Hospital parking lot.

“It wasn’t just the loss, it was the battle inside yourself,” Sandhu says. “I was trying not to mix my professional and personal life. I had to leave it there because I had two little daughters at home.”

She had few options other than to fight and move forward. Her life had forever changed. There were times when the pain became almost too much to bear, but never far from her mind, her daughters gave her strength to fight.

“I’ll either be miserable or I’ll use that experience to build my strength together to show my daughters,” she says.

But, while she was trying to stay strong, she was also being pulled in multiple directions by multiple people.

Decisions regarding her and her daughter’s lives were being made for them by extended family, which Sandhu says only added to her depression and deflated her sense of self-worth.

“My limitations were defined by others,” she remembers. “I was given a path. You either walk this path or quit your job and move into your in-laws’ basement. I couldn’t say no.”

Finally, it was Sandhu’s mother who stood up in her defence. She demanded the young mother be allowed to be her own woman, saying her daughter suffered enough and it was time for her to live her own life.

“My mother said she is not a ‘rag doll’ —she said ‘let her be,'” Sandhu says.

Life didn’t immediately get better for Sandhu and her daughters, but her mother’s actions did give her the courage to stand up for herself; to start down her own path.

For all these years, her mom has remained by her side on that path; helping to raise her two daughters and acting like a rock to hold onto in the face of the storm.

It has been more than 10 years since Sammy’s passing.

In 2012, Sandhu left Terrace and moved to the Okanagan.

She re-married and has even added to her family — a three-and-a-half-year-old old son she calls, Avishaan.

“He’s mommy’s baby,” she says with a little laugh.

She still works as a nurse and is active within the Hospital Employees Union and BC Nurses Union (BCNU), chairing the Mosaic of Culture Caucus through the BCNU.

She credits many people for her journey back to this point, saying if it wasn’t for friends, family and community, there is no telling where she and her daughters would be today.

“If we were anywhere else in the world, the three of us, I don’t know what would have happened. I say to Terrace that I am always in debt. I will always be grateful until the day I die,” she says.

As for her daughters she says they know of the hardships she overcame for them.

“They always tell me, they are so proud of me. I can’t even tell you,” she says, “I get so many hugs in a day.”

Her smile is from ear to ear.

“I tell them that I’ll be proud of them no matter what they do, they make mom proud.”

Her daughters are no less ambitious than Sandhu. Her oldest daughter, 17, is enrolled at UBCO and wants to be a neurosurgeon. The youngest, 12, speaks four languages and wants to be an anesthesiologist or border security officer.

She jokes her daughter still has time to decide.

“They thank me so many times a day for their safety and their independence. They are free to be and explore and do whatever they want and be whatever they want,” she says.

The words echo those of her late father’s: “There is nothing you can’t do.”

She is asked how her story relates to running for office.

“I am sharing my story is because of the resiliency those times can give you, as a reminder of the things you can be grateful for,” she says.

“I want to help. It didn’t come from a desire to be a politician. The main desire is to help people who are suffering. This is our home. I have spent half of my life here and I am grateful to this country. I want to pay it back,” she says.

Sandhu adds in a soft, friendly voice, “It starts with a whisper.”

Voters across Canada head to the polls on October 21.